The Influencers: Resolve to Give Praise December 17, 2008
By Kerry Patterson
For nearly three decades, I worked on a variety of corporate-change projects. Every year, the HR departments of the companies I worked with dutifully administered a corporate-wide employee-satisfaction survey. Some years employees reported that their bosses were saintly ambassadors of unrestricted good will. On other occasions, respondents painted the big wigs out to be authoritarian cretins who deserved to be placed in stockades and pummeled with rotting tomatoes.
And yet there was always one survey finding that never changed. No matter the time or place, no matter how large the company or how profitable the year, employees reported that they were not adequately praised for their accomplishments.
Unfortunately, no matter what I or anybody else did change the status quo, the next year's results remained unchanged. Nobody believed they had been given the recognition they had deserved for their noteworthy achievements. I found this inability to move the needle particularly troublesome in light of my own experience with the importance of praise.
Be Kind to Strangers
My interest in positive reinforcement started in the streets of Rio de Janeiro in the late 1960s. At that time, I was working in Brazil and had just read Dale Carnegie's superb book, How to Win Friends and Influence People. Recognizing the genius of many of Mr. Carnegie's ideas, I decided I’d put his advice into action—specifically to be more generous and effusive in giving praise, even to strangers.
That very day, as I rode a bus that raced through the crowded backstreets of Rio, I came across an opportunity. There, in that filthy, dilapidated bus, I noticed a young man selling bus tokens. Despite the fact that passengers were screaming at him as he struggled through the teeming crowd, the young man was smiling. He counted back change quickly and professionally. You could tell he took pride in his work despite the fact that it paid less than a dollar a day. So I complimented the fellow for a job well done. I told him I had seen hundreds of transit employees sell tokens, but he was the fastest and most courteous I had ever observed in action. The young man smiled so wide and real that I've never forgotten his look of appreciation.
Later, I learned that this beaming token seller had held this job for two years and this was the first time anyone had ever said anything nice to him. He was so appreciative of what I had said that he wouldn't take my money. In fact, for the next two months that I worked in the area he never took my money.
Distribution Techniques
With this poignant experience never far from my consciousness, the annual survey results that demonstrate praise, praise that's rationed like sugar during World War II, cut me to the core. Then it hit me. Perhaps leaders weren't clear about what to do. After all, giving praise can be a delicate interaction. It can even backfire. People can become upset when one person is recognized, but they aren't. Or maybe they don't value your opinion or they don't trust you.
For instance, as a young Coast Guard Ensign, I once praised a group of employees for the wonderful work they had done that year and much to my surprise the crowd fell completely silent. The awkward silence was only broken when someone barked that I was merely trying to manipulate them—and nobody laughed. Despite the fact that my words had been heartfelt, the repressive work environment endemic to the times had smothered my best intentions.
Recognizing the importance of praise, along with the fact that it can be difficult to deliver, I'd like to share a specific form of praise that I became aware of quite by accident and, for me, has always been effective—no matter how unhealthy the broader environment.
I became aware of this tactic one day when the company I worked for held a party to which I invited my parents. At one point, the president of the company approached my parents and thanked them for having raised me so well. He then launched into a short speech covering all of the things I had done to help the company succeed. He couldn't say enough good about me. My parents hung on each syllable and lunched off those kind remarks for years to come. Those expressions of appreciation sincerely shared with my parents comprised the kindest gift I've ever seen offered by a corporate executive, and may well be the one method for offering praise that can survive any corporate culture.
That evening, I promised myself that whenever an employee who reported to me stopped by my office to introduce his or her parents, I'd pay the gift forward. I'd gush about the person's contribution to the company just as my boss had gushed over me. And I've been true to my promise.
So, at this time of year when most of us are resolving to improve ourselves in some way, improve your ability to give praise. Thank the close relatives of those who work for you for sharing their loved one's precious time and talents with your company. Lay on the praise with a trowel. Wrap it up with a broad smile. No matter the person's background or beliefs, no matter your company's circumstances, I can think of no better or more credible way of meeting people's burning desire to be sincerely recognized for their stellar performance.
INCENTIVE online columnist Kerry Patterson is coauthor of the New York Times bestseller, Influencer: The Power to Change Anything (McGraw-Hill) and the brand new training program, Influencer Training. He is also a sought-after speaker and consultant and cofounder of VitalSmarts, an innovator in corporate training and organizational performance. www.vitalsmarts.com
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